Men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. But what about real life, can men and women be “just friends” there? The Boyfriend presents valentines day spoke with clinical psychologist, Dr.
Carla Marie Manly, and she did confirm that, “Given our societal norms and general gender preferences, same-sex ‘best friendships’ are more common than opposite-sex ‘best friendships. She explains that it’s natural that males tend to feel more comfortable with other males, and the same goes for females. What are some of the factors leading to opposite-sex friendships? Boys and girls can be friends when they are attending the same schools, and many male and female coworkers also share close, yet non-sexual friendships.
Even if one or both of the friends are involved in a relationship, this need not be a concern. In Manly’s opinion, “A girlfriend who has never encountered a situation where a male has a female best friend can be taken aback simply because it is an unfamiliar situation. She’ll most likely move from “taken aback” to concerned, and rightfully so, should her partner be less than open about the situation. Another factor contributing to friction surrounding same-sex friendships is if the girlfriend doesn’t feel secure in her relationship apart from any perceived threat posed by the friend. If she and her boyfriend aren’t rock solid to begin with, she’s likely to feel threatened and jealous by the thought of her boyfriend sharing a close friendship with another woman. If a woman find herself in a situation where it’s her boyfriend who has a best friend who’s not just “one of the guys,” she shouldn’t beat herself up if it makes her feel uncomfortable, since this is only natural.
Instead, what she should do, according to Manly, is “self-reflect about any internal fears she has that are not well-founded. Easy to say, yeah, but getting to such a state of acceptance isn’t always easy to do. Manly acknowledges that “being introspective can be difficult, as it takes objectivity to tease apart our fear-based feelings such as jealousy. If, on the other hand, Manly says you find that your “fears are based in red flag issues such as the boyfriend being secretive or having a history of betrayal,” in that case, she cautions, “it’s important to take the issues seriously. Sometimes you just gotta, you know? If your boyfriend is what Manly calls “emotionally intelligent,” she feels that “he’ll be able to support you in accepting that the relationship is not a threat.
If he truly is just friends with this person and committed to you, clearing the air may enable the two of you to work things out and emerge all the stronger for it. To save this word, you’ll need to log in. My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a couple of months. For her boyfriend’s birthday, Musgraves couldn’t narrow it down to one photo and shared a carousel of their time together.